destruction

I will not be running the marathon this year. Shoot me now. I'm going nuts. Literally, my mind is not together. You know what would help me? Going for a run. You want to know what I can't do? Go running.

You know what else would help me? Going home and smashing every single plate, bowl, glass, or breakable material against my concrete floors. That's the kind of frustration I feel right now. I think that with each smash, I would feel as if I was releasing some of the rage, the pure rage, I feel inside.

I am craving endorphins. I am craving sweat. I am craving rhythm. I am craving having my hair back in a ponytail. I am craving the evening breeze. I am craving the first few and last few steps. I am craving the look people give me when they recognize that I am a runner. That I am someone who is able to run for hours.

Six to eight weeks is the time. I am going to go bat-shit crazy, so help me god.

And, you want to know what the biggest irony of all is? The greatest rub, the greatest "I told you so", the greatest revenge of all time? I did this to myself. No one else and nothing else did this to me. It was just me. I'm the cause of this.

I have either a stress fracture or a pulled ligament or tendon in my left foot. It's swimming, biking, and the gym for me. No running.

fresh

New Year, New Year, New Year! I know it's cheesy but the New Year always holds so much symbolism for me.

I have much to report, altho much of it may only be reported via my flickr page, which I should have updated with all kinds of fun and lovely photos soon.

In the meantime: Resolutions.
1. reconnect, renew, and refresh relationships
2. more swimming and yoga
3. learn to fucking surf already
4. save more money
5. learn as much as possible
6. get to my gym at least once a week if I'm going to keep the membership

Let's see how I do!

three

I officially started my third year of L.A. Leggers last Saturday. Had a whole 2 mile run with the group. It was short, but man, did it feel good. I felt energized. Rejuivinated.

I spent all last week not running at all. Just swimming. I've been having a pain, twinge, and twitch in my right leg. The area just below my knee (not on my knee, but below my knee, on the upper shin area to the left). Hmm. It had me worried so I took last week off, hence all of the swimming.

But this just made me realize that I need to keep swimming as a complement to the running. I'll go tonight. I had a good run last night - the pain was there for the first third of the run and then went away. I'll go swimming tonight to rest it, and then run tomorrow.

So, I'll be back in the run of things officially. For some reason, being part of leggers again re-validates all of the running I do mid-week. I'll also hopefully loose that 5 pounds I gain in the four months I have off from the club. :)

But...my Friday nights will once again start to be compromised. Oh well.

sand

This evening I had a lovely walk on the beach with M the roomie and two of her friends. It was nice - altho not as long as I would have liked it to be. I think I should go out to Santa Monica for a run through Venice like I used to do - that would be nice and it's light enough to do that. Speaking of that, I need to do the same thing in Downtown. Re-visit my old running routes through that area. While running in CC is nice (very nice becaus the air is fresher) I wouldn't mind changing things up a bit.

Anyway, the walk was still very nice because I couldn't go running today - yesterday I really pushed myself, ran faster than I usually do, and as a result I tweaked the sensitive ass-muscle I have. And, my foot arches and toes have been feeling some pain too. Sigh. Why oh why. And the pool here in CC is closed so that means no swimming until next week - BAH. So running and walking. Unless I get the gumption to drive myself down to my gym. Which I am still a member of, which I havn't been to in a good two months. I hate paying for something that I'm not using. Ick.

It's just hard to drag myself into my car after work and face traffic.

calendar

Wow! I have so much going on - I simutaneously love it and hate it.

Work - will calm down a bit after tomorrow night when we have our opening. I am happy that things are going well with it and we are getting a lot of positive feedback. I'll be in Texas next week speaking a the A I A conference - put some finishing touches (with more to come in the next couple of days) on that presentation last night. Another rehearsal and we'll have it down pat - am presenting with two colleagues.

Running - going well! I'll be taking a weeklong break from it starting today, unless I can get my ass up tomorrow morning to go for a run. Which I am going to try very hard to do.

Swimming - won't get back to the pool until the second week of May. I hate that - but I just can't get over there during their public lap swim hours. Sigh.

Furniture - M & I got a sweet new couch! It has inspired me to start the re-upholstering process on my currnet little 2-piece couch. Actually spend some money on that. I've enlisted the superious interior design skills of E to help me choose some classy fabric for it. I am very excited about getting it finally done nice!

Veggie - man, our veggies our just running amok. I am so happy about this! I have some more pics to post on the ol' flickr page. So check there for that.

Hmmm - OH YEAH COACHELLA! I leave for coachella tomorrow night! I will definitely report on that.

flip

Now that I am back in the pool, my body is slowly starting to remember what it feels like to swim. The motions to make, where my forehead is supposed to be, how it feels to keep my bum up and slightly out of the water in order to align my balance properly. How it feels to warm up after a couple of laps, get through a gruesome kick and pull session, and then slide back into a freestyle for a couple more 200's. Not only choosing to do, but knowing to do, a 500 lenght and loving every minute of it.

Ahhhhh. I love when you start to feel the the blood pumping through your arms with each stroke, the slight tingle in your lungs eith each inhalation, even the pressure on my nose from the goggles.

Swimming is so different from running. I think it will take some more time for me to understand how they complement each other. I mean, besides from the obvious (running: lot's of pounding on joints and muscles, swimming: no pounding, all is fluid). I mean in terms of mental aspects. Will I feel confident that kicking is helping my leg muscles? Why do I feel like, despite ALL the leg muscles I have, that my kicking is still so spotty in the water? You'd think that my kicks would be so powerful.

Hmm. It's funny how despite no real dedication to arm workouts, my arms feel stronger then ever in the pool, and my legs feel totally week.

I think that, if I'm going to be a form junkie, I'm going to need to start doing flip turns again. Ugh. I hate those suckers. But...swimmers need to do them.

Okay, next time I'm in the pool (probably Saturday; Friday will be a run since I've got a business thing tonight) I'm going to try the ol' flipturns again. Yikes. Scary!