Thursday, March 13, 2008

onward

So, it's been awhile.

It's been awhile because I've been going through a lot. A summary:

Running: Obviously, the last couple of posts have shown an extreme amount of frustration. But, the bloodbath is over, and I'm weaning myself, after 5.5 weeks (because that's all I could last, instead of 8 weeks) back into running. I'm doing about 4 miles on average every three days, except I ran tonight and ran last night, and I'M SO SORE! It's sad. Well, it's sad in the amazing point of view: in February I did a 26 mile run and was happy, felt good, and was over it within 12 hours. Now, a mere 5 weeks later, I'm doing 4 mile runs and am talking myself into walking down stairs. The body is simply a complete conundrum.

Work: I have resigned from my current job and accepted a new position at a very awesome arch/land arch/interior/graphic/product office extrodinaire. My first task, after learning the culture, history, and contact database, is to fill in for someone who has been there for 12 years while she is on maternity leave. Then I get to write a marketing plan. Challenge? Yes. Opportunity? HELL yes. Murky areas? Yes. Growth opportunity? Yes. Networking? Going to explode. Scared? OMG yes.

Boys: W & I keep seeing each other. There is no explanation for this other than the chemistry still exists, even after all the turmoil. I kick myself and at the same time feel like I love him. It's something I don't fully understand.

Savings: improving. All the time. I am so fortunate.

Gardening: Well, I did not get into the gardening program I wanted to be in, but have taken a few gardening classes in the meantime, and my little strip of garden is doing rather well. It's been remarkable seeing the annual plants come back, and event plants that shouldn't be annuals come back. Seed propagation has resulted in cosmos, marigolds, basil, dill, parsley, strawberries, and I think even some cauliflower to flourish. We have this purple cauliflower that is so beautiful and gorgeous it's hard to pick in the garden right now. I took some pictures; I'll try to post those sometime soon. I should add a bunch of stuff to my flickr account.

Hmm, what else.

I'm happier. That's good. And I've always lived by the motto that I need to be happy, no matter what. So it seems I'm on track.

I'll try to be more frequent. I think I'm coming out of a funk.

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Monday, February 18, 2008

destruction

I will not be running the marathon this year. Shoot me now. I'm going nuts. Literally, my mind is not together. You know what would help me? Going for a run. You want to know what I can't do? Go running.

You know what else would help me? Going home and smashing every single plate, bowl, glass, or breakable material against my concrete floors. That's the kind of frustration I feel right now. I think that with each smash, I would feel as if I was releasing some of the rage, the pure rage, I feel inside.

I am craving endorphins. I am craving sweat. I am craving rhythm. I am craving having my hair back in a ponytail. I am craving the evening breeze. I am craving the first few and last few steps. I am craving the look people give me when they recognize that I am a runner. That I am someone who is able to run for hours.

Six to eight weeks is the time. I am going to go bat-shit crazy, so help me god.

And, you want to know what the biggest irony of all is? The greatest rub, the greatest "I told you so", the greatest revenge of all time? I did this to myself. No one else and nothing else did this to me. It was just me. I'm the cause of this.

I have either a stress fracture or a pulled ligament or tendon in my left foot. It's swimming, biking, and the gym for me. No running.

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Tuesday, February 12, 2008

home

http://thefrenchchateau.com/index.htm

Ooooooooooooo. Ooooooooooooooo. Ooooooooooooooo. I want so bad. I want so bad. SO BAD!!! This property was across the street from my apartment in K-TOwn and I loved it. They had started the renovation when I was just leaving the old place, it appears to be done. Ooooooooo. I want so bad.

Unit #3. You can see it on the site plan!

They are $575,000. Ouch. If I could talk them down to maybe $525,000 then with a 30 year mortgage the monthly payments (and I'm WAY oversimplifying this) would be $1458. The HOA fee was $283, and the monthly property tax was $83, so that's $1824.

IF ONLY I HAD A HUSBAND or SIGNIFICANT OTHER to live with, this could TOTALLY BE DONE. BUT I'M SINGLE. I don't think that I could do it. Say I got a new job with a salary of $80,000 (that's my new asking price...yikes). THEN I might be able to make this work, but I'd be pouring a lot of money into the living situation. BUT...I'd be living there!

Hmmm. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Hmmmmmmmmm.

Of course, the market is still supposed to go down. The listing for this place has been up for 110 days, according to Redfin. So that may mean the seller should lower soon???

Maybe I'll request a tour and an appointment. Then they'll know I'm interested. That I WANT to bite.

I'm so hungry for a home.

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Thursday, February 07, 2008

pain

Head: throb, throb, throb, throb, throb. Why must you throb so much, left temple? With every heartbeat, you throb!

Nose: Stuff, itch, stuff, itch, tender. Happened so fast! I thought you were allergies.

Eyes: Dry, itchy, scratch, puffy. Must get the new contacts picked up, but I don't have time!

Heart: I think that the third time may be the charm to break the heart. :(

Foot: Nerve damage? Muscle spasms? After 2.5 miles on Tuesday I had to stop running and walk home 3 miles in the cold. I fear for the 13 miles run this Saturday. Should I skip it? I've never skipped a run!

Brain: with so much pain, my brain is having a hard time coping.

Synopsis: It could be worse. I need to remember the lucky things.

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Wednesday, February 06, 2008

nonsense

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-[09af3ka;'dkfdadvdas/kpoi/



yeah.

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Tuesday, February 05, 2008

vote

I voted today, did you? Check out your voting place a LA Vote. If you've changed your address from the last time you move, you'll need to re-register.

I had to re-register today - I voted provisionally - and I have officially switched to the Democratic party! Today, in the primary, I still voted Republican, but during the presidential election I can vote true to party once again.

I only half-get the reasoning behind limiting your voting in the primaries to your political party. You'd think it would be an interesting thing to track what dems voted pubs and what pubs voted dems. I guess if you're indy then you can vote indy or dems, but you couldn't vote pubs. Hmm. It's all mixed up. I did put my vote in for the lesser of the pubs evil...Romney for me, but man my heart wasn't in it. I almost skipped voting, but then at least my vote is going towards someone I could mildly be interested in. I wish I could have voted for Obama though! Hopefully next time...

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Wednesday, January 30, 2008

chart

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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

chomp


lompoc xmas 2007_0132, originally uploaded by slipperyjane.

Oooooo. I am 80% of the way through eating a red velvet cupcake from Bluebird café and my belly is revolting but my craving and my tastebuds say MORE MORE MORE! I am blogging this pic because that night I ate 7 gingerbread cookies and almost got sick. Sister S took this picture to commemorate my binge.

Awww....sweet memories.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

whoa.

Well, I'm mailing off about $850 in bills today, $100 of that includes the registration fee for the three month master gardening program. Guess I'm in that for good now - well, if I'm accepted. If I'm not accepted they better send me back my freaking $100.

At least tax time is nigh, and that will mean some type of refund. It will be welcome, especially with the imminent trip to New York at the end of February and the fact that I'll also be purchasing tickets to Coachella tomorrow. At least it is only a one-day pass.

After this, I think my major beginning-of-the-year expenses are all taken care of. The only real thing I forsee spending some money on are some new clothes for the spring/summer (the majority of the ones I have now are pushing 7-8 years old, and they've had very steady wear).

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Thursday, January 17, 2008

whee!

Things I've Done:
Registered for my third L.A. Marthon
Cleaned the floors in apt.
Watered plants
Took down Christmas
Lot's of work for work
Hung new curtains
Bought new rugs
Made all returns and purchases
Gym once a week
Dropped pants off to be hemmed
Have seen friends more often
Dentist appointments
Made eye appointment

Things to Do:
Get ready for typography class
Register for gardening program already
Start helping M with our garden
Laundry
Update computer so I can use the new nano
Get new pedicure
Research things in New York
Job hunt options

So far, all in all, a successful year. Things are chugging away smoothly. Almost too smoothly. I think I've decided to take the dive into the L.A. County Common Grounds Gardening Program. It starts the day before the marathon and continues through the end of May.

This means every Saturday from March 1 - May 31st is given up from 9:00am to 4:00pm. It seems like a giant committment, on top of my typography class and SMPS volunteer duties. BUT - at least I will not have to worry about training runs. I have a feeling that come June 1st I may have to plan a massive party to celebrate that I'll have my Saturday's back. Perhaps that massive party should take place on Catalina Island followed by those damn surf lessons.

I have the application on my desk today and am going to fill it out; this reminds me to check in with F, a lovely lady I met at a party who was also planning on doing this. I've hung out with her twice now and I think she'll make the program a really great experience to go through; we'll at least have each other, plus I'll probably meet a lot of other people.

This program will also require community service after it is done, so that is good - I've been meaning to start working that in to my life, so this is perfect.

Okay - well here goes! Gardening, I am making you a priority once again!

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Wednesday, January 09, 2008

reminder

When you don't feel like going to the gym or for a run or playing a game, just watch this once. That's all you'll need.

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Thursday, January 03, 2008

fresh

New Year, New Year, New Year! I know it's cheesy but the New Year always holds so much symbolism for me.

I have much to report, altho much of it may only be reported via my flickr page, which I should have updated with all kinds of fun and lovely photos soon.

In the meantime: Resolutions.
1. reconnect, renew, and refresh relationships
2. more swimming and yoga
3. learn to fucking surf already
4. save more money
5. learn as much as possible
6. get to my gym at least once a week if I'm going to keep the membership

Let's see how I do!

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Monday, December 17, 2007

bye

I think I'm going to go into hibernation for the rest of the year. I just can't keep myself happy these days. Little fun blips come along (Saturday night was fun with some party hopping) but I'm finding it hard to maintain those positive moments. I feel like I'm turning into a pessimist. It's harder and harder to find the good things that happen everyday. It's a struggle to be nice and talk to people at work. This shouldn't be the way things are.

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empty

A, on her blog, posted: "The other day, a friend of mine told me that they'd never been in love. They were in love with the idea of being in love, but they'd never really loved anyone. I can't imagine a life like that. I love so many people and so many people reciprocate that feeling that I can't imagine what life would be without it."

I've never been in love either. It's something I so desperately want to happen to me, that I'm afraid I'll not recognize it if it happens. I'm afraid of saying something is love because what if it's not? Nothing I've ever felt for anyone has really lived up to that whole "love" feeling. No flutters. No euphoria. No fast heartbeat. No realization. No "pop" moment when you just know. No nothing.

I've always kept this a bit of a secret (I don't like to talk about it because I'm increasingly depressed about it) but then it was nice to see that someone else has this same experience as me. I have no idea who A was talking about, but just knowing they are out there is nice.

I think the reason this depresses me so much, is in addition to me never loving anyone, no one has ever said those three magical words to me. No one has ever been in love with me. Outside of my immediate family that is. No guy, no lover, no boyfriend, no one I've ever even been in a relationship with, has felt that way for me.

Ugh. I hate this post.

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Friday, December 14, 2007

adoration

Okay, so lately I've been enjoying LOL Cats alarmingly much. I look at these pictures and crack up, or just melt into my chair from love. The video below gets me every time, I watched it three times in a row today!!!

I may just become a crazy cat lady some day, after all.

Oh, and 20 mile run in the morning. Yikes!

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love

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Monday, December 10, 2007

fifth!

Had the fifth annual wine + cheese party this weekend! So much fun, as usual! I am listing the menu here for my own record:

cheese:
irish white cheddar
gouda
goat cheese
mozzarella
parmagiano reggiano
curds
manchego (my new favorite cheese)
brie
cheesecake (cream cheese, ricotta, goat) with red peppers, chives, oregano, thyme

meats
panchetta
salami

fruits/veggies
yellow peppers
basil
tomatos
grapes
clementines

sweets
truffles
cups with coconut or raspberries & ganache
lime custard tarts with raspberries
chocolate coins

And, of course, wine. 30 bottles were empty in the morning, and we had 10 left over. WOW!

I paired down on the food a little bit which left me with less leftovers (a GOOD thing) and let me spend a little bit more $$ on the party. I think I maybe spent the usual amount, so that's good. Extravagant, but a nice holiday treat for friends. And seeing it's really the only party I have all year, my pocketbook can handle it.

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