destruction
I will not be running the marathon this year. Shoot me now. I'm going nuts. Literally, my mind is not together. You know what would help me? Going for a run. You want to know what I can't do? Go running.
You know what else would help me? Going home and smashing every single plate, bowl, glass, or breakable material against my concrete floors. That's the kind of frustration I feel right now. I think that with each smash, I would feel as if I was releasing some of the rage, the pure rage, I feel inside.
I am craving endorphins. I am craving sweat. I am craving rhythm. I am craving having my hair back in a ponytail. I am craving the evening breeze. I am craving the first few and last few steps. I am craving the look people give me when they recognize that I am a runner. That I am someone who is able to run for hours.
Six to eight weeks is the time. I am going to go bat-shit crazy, so help me god.
And, you want to know what the biggest irony of all is? The greatest rub, the greatest "I told you so", the greatest revenge of all time? I did this to myself. No one else and nothing else did this to me. It was just me. I'm the cause of this.
I have either a stress fracture or a pulled ligament or tendon in my left foot. It's swimming, biking, and the gym for me. No running.
You know what else would help me? Going home and smashing every single plate, bowl, glass, or breakable material against my concrete floors. That's the kind of frustration I feel right now. I think that with each smash, I would feel as if I was releasing some of the rage, the pure rage, I feel inside.
I am craving endorphins. I am craving sweat. I am craving rhythm. I am craving having my hair back in a ponytail. I am craving the evening breeze. I am craving the first few and last few steps. I am craving the look people give me when they recognize that I am a runner. That I am someone who is able to run for hours.
Six to eight weeks is the time. I am going to go bat-shit crazy, so help me god.
And, you want to know what the biggest irony of all is? The greatest rub, the greatest "I told you so", the greatest revenge of all time? I did this to myself. No one else and nothing else did this to me. It was just me. I'm the cause of this.
I have either a stress fracture or a pulled ligament or tendon in my left foot. It's swimming, biking, and the gym for me. No running.
2 Comments:
Oh, Amanda, that sucks totally. But the important thing is to take care of yourself so that you can run the next marathon, and the one after that. So please just take heart? And bike your little heart out? I do definitely emphasize with your pain.
I can totally sympathize ma'am. Though I haven't missed a race because of injury, I've missed them for other reasons and it's a bummer to not be able to participate in something that you worked so hard for.
But, you now get to focus on your biking and swimming, so when you're able to run again you will be in a great place to do a tri!
If you want to smash things, let me know. I love smashing shit.
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