empty

A, on her blog, posted: "The other day, a friend of mine told me that they'd never been in love. They were in love with the idea of being in love, but they'd never really loved anyone. I can't imagine a life like that. I love so many people and so many people reciprocate that feeling that I can't imagine what life would be without it."

I've never been in love either. It's something I so desperately want to happen to me, that I'm afraid I'll not recognize it if it happens. I'm afraid of saying something is love because what if it's not? Nothing I've ever felt for anyone has really lived up to that whole "love" feeling. No flutters. No euphoria. No fast heartbeat. No realization. No "pop" moment when you just know. No nothing.

I've always kept this a bit of a secret (I don't like to talk about it because I'm increasingly depressed about it) but then it was nice to see that someone else has this same experience as me. I have no idea who A was talking about, but just knowing they are out there is nice.

I think the reason this depresses me so much, is in addition to me never loving anyone, no one has ever said those three magical words to me. No one has ever been in love with me. Outside of my immediate family that is. No guy, no lover, no boyfriend, no one I've ever even been in a relationship with, has felt that way for me.

Ugh. I hate this post.