headcase
I am seriously having some problems. I am constantly annoyed at something, ready to pissed off at someone or something, or feeling listless and uncommunicative or unsure about myself. I feel as if there is one thing out there that is going to make me pop. I have no idea what that is though, and I'm getting a little worried. What will happen when I pop? Why can't I find anything to diffuse this?
Spoke with the sister last night and her theory is that the Pill is still bothering my system. She said it drove her into depression, and she felt the same way I'm describing things.
Ugh. I don't want to not be on the pill though. It's such a safety net, and I feel much more secure about the issue of possible pregnancy when I know I am doing my part. I just don't trust anything else as much as the pill. Further more, my skin has just finally calmed itself down. Going off probably wouldn't do much, but GOD FORBID I ever get back on again.
I've shared these feelings with the GYN and they say nothing or can give no support. How is that possible!?!?!? They are the nincompoops prescribing me this medication, you'd think they would know the side effects inside and out. They can offer no support, no solutions, no anything. Altho I suppose one solution is celebicy. BUT FUCK! I don't want to live a celibate life.
I guess another is to tie the tubes, but I do want kids at some point.
Maybe I am just getting antsy about the world and state of my life. There is no change. Things seem monotonous. I interpret this as such a shame...because I'm not married, I don't have kids, I'm essentially responsible for no one else but myself...you'd think I'd be having a great time.
But then I keep thinking that there has to be something more to life than what I have. And when I have that thought, my mind inexplicably turns towards marriage. Having children. Having a home that is mine and is not rented.
And then the frustration builds even more. I get annoyed. I'm annoyed that I'm getting annoyed. Running is helpful for the thinking, because the more I think the more I am annoyed and the harder I run...but running won't solve things.
Spoke with the sister last night and her theory is that the Pill is still bothering my system. She said it drove her into depression, and she felt the same way I'm describing things.
Ugh. I don't want to not be on the pill though. It's such a safety net, and I feel much more secure about the issue of possible pregnancy when I know I am doing my part. I just don't trust anything else as much as the pill. Further more, my skin has just finally calmed itself down. Going off probably wouldn't do much, but GOD FORBID I ever get back on again.
I've shared these feelings with the GYN and they say nothing or can give no support. How is that possible!?!?!? They are the nincompoops prescribing me this medication, you'd think they would know the side effects inside and out. They can offer no support, no solutions, no anything. Altho I suppose one solution is celebicy. BUT FUCK! I don't want to live a celibate life.
I guess another is to tie the tubes, but I do want kids at some point.
Maybe I am just getting antsy about the world and state of my life. There is no change. Things seem monotonous. I interpret this as such a shame...because I'm not married, I don't have kids, I'm essentially responsible for no one else but myself...you'd think I'd be having a great time.
But then I keep thinking that there has to be something more to life than what I have. And when I have that thought, my mind inexplicably turns towards marriage. Having children. Having a home that is mine and is not rented.
And then the frustration builds even more. I get annoyed. I'm annoyed that I'm getting annoyed. Running is helpful for the thinking, because the more I think the more I am annoyed and the harder I run...but running won't solve things.
Labels: frustrating, living, running
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